Pets Chapter 41 (Candy): Realizations

This entry is part 41 of 45 in the series Pets

I was in class, trying to concentrate, but my thoughts kept going back to those new desires for Richard.

I had been in a BDSM relationship with him for years without ever feeling any actual sexual desires for him. Each time he had used my body for sex, I was pretty much checking out, trying to think of something else.

Granted, I did feel some physical pleasure from time to time, and sometimes, the emotional pleasure of being a good submissive helped me feel actually good about the act.

But recently, that had changed.

I had simply thought that I was more submissive than gay. In short, my desire to be a slave was stronger than my desire to only have sex with my preferred gender.

Since Ellie came on board, my desires for Richard have only grown, when I would have presumed that finally having frequent sex with a woman I loved would actually numb any heterosexual cravings that my body might trigger.

Could I be more in contact with my body who craves attention from boys? Could I be more sensitive due to my frequent nudity? Was the higher frequency of sex and BDSM play changing my mind ever so slightly? Both of my partners were at least bisexual for Ellie, and heterosexual for Richard, so could my mind try to emulate them?

Was seeing Richard’s erect cock so frequently playing a trick in my mind? Was Ellie’s orgasms from Richard generating envy in my tiny lizard portion of my¬†brain?

Shit, no, that wasn’t it. Well, yes, it was, but not jealousy.

The class had ended and I had 3 hours prior to the next one, but I couldn’t stand up. My legs simply couldn’t support me at this point. I was alone in the class and kept thinking.

I suddenly had an idea. I knew who I could talk to: Ellie! She had also finished her class and has an hour to kill, so I knew I would find her in one of the student lounges near both of her classes. Richard was in class, which was just perfect.

Surprised, my legs managed to hold me up as I ran toward her building. I found her reviewing her notes. God, she was so beautiful, lost in thoughts, wearing surprisingly¬†sexy clothes until I realized that once again, they were mine. I made a note to ask her to give them to me “for washing” so I would wear them with her smell still in them.

She smiled when she saw me, we hugged, but that was about it. We were in public… I personally wasn’t even sure I was ready to be out in public so I can only imagine her.

“I think I know what’s wrong with me”, I blurted out, instead of having small talk.

“Something is wrong with you?”, she replied, concerned.

“Yeah, my sudden apparent attraction to Richard. I don’t think it’s attraction to him. It’s attraction to you…”

I could see she couldn’t understand anything.

“Listen, you have a relationship with Richard. A loving one, and I am happy for you too, but we are building one between you and I, at least, I hope so.”

“ok, I can see that.”, she said.

“But we don’t have a relationship. We have a trio. You and I are not dating, we are not seeing each other. Richard is always there, so each time I feel something with you, since I have to share you with him, my, well, I don’t know how to call it, let’s say my love radar, pulls him in. I want you and he is there, and you want him, and he wants you, so my mind kinds of want him too by default, because it doesn’t know how to want just you… only you when he is there.”

She looked at me with intense eyes.

“I think I can see that. I think I have something similar. Not the same, but similar”

She does?

“Oh?”, I asked.

“It’s like, I can’t really desire you or feel something for you when he is there. You can’t avoid feeling something for him when he is, and I can’t really open my feelings with you when he is.”

“Yeah, but you were officially straight, and I was officially gay. In both cases, he is kind of in the way of us by steering us away from each other.”, I replied.

“So we need to have dates, just you and I then.”

Wow, was that girl amazing or what?

“I’d love that! I’d love that very much”.

“But does that change your interest in being Richard’s backup plan for sex?”

I blushed. “I don’t think so. I think I am already in too deep, but I would like to feel closer to you to make sure.”

“I’d love that do. I’ll talk to Richard, but I see no problem with having a proper date. I think he’d like that anyway… even if he isn’t there to see it.”

I blushed again.

“Ask him about us too…”

She looked confused.

“Isn’t that what I just said?”

“No, I mean, for after the date… you know… about being intimate?”

“Sure, but I think we already gave us his blessings. I’ll check to make sure.”

I hugged her and left her to her revision, with a skip in my step. I was going on a date with her soon!

Series Navigation«Pets Chapter 40 (Ellie): time for a couplePets Chapter 42 (Richard): Drive home»