Sue Chapter 21: Scheming

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This entry is part 21 of 21 in the series Sue

The first thing I had to do was completely assess my situation food-wise: I had planned supper for two but not two additional meals for three.

Sue and Annie had gone in the living room in the meantime, sitting next to each other on my couch: it was a look to die for!

I tried to focus on my reserves. I had enough, as always, to make some carbonara pasta. I simply had two pre-made sauce jars and enough pasta to feed a school. Ok, maybe not, but certainly enough for the three of us.

So lunch was fine, but what about supper? I did have four succulent chicken breasts in the freezer I had planned to cook during the afternoon for my lunches, that would be my main meal. I checked for the rest and realized that I had plenty of options there too.

Good, now, what to do with the ladies I was entertaining?

It was still too early for Lunch so I decided to sit with them in the living room. They were already engaged in a serious conversation about Gus, Nicole’s boyfriend.

I don’t think it’s worth it to recall the hour-long discussion so I’ll just give you an overview:

  • He is a loser
  • Nicole is so miserable
  • I was so much better
  • Nicole would be so much happier with the four of us
  • Sue bets that Nicole’s pussy tastes like honey
  • Annie bets that it tastes like crap
  • Neither of them has any ideas on how to break them up

It usually circled around the same ideas, so I decided, on their what, fourth or fifth retelling of how horrible he is, to ask a few questions.

I honestly had no idea how to break them up, but I figured that if I could help steer the conversion away from the whining loop, I might get them to have an idea.

“Do any of you know what she sees in him?”

There was more whining, complaining about him, but in the end, they came to a conclusion: she seems to like a bad boy, and he was as bad as could be. He ignored her, dressed badly and made really bad life choices.

“What do you think she likes in bad boys?”

This time, no whining, in fact, no clear answers! I seemed to have broken them.

There were a few attempts, like “Well, duh”, or “Well, you know”, but as I pressed for a clearer answer, it became clearer and clearer that they had no ideas.

“I think”, I said, “that perhaps, like Sue, she wants an Alpha male, but since that doesn’t really exist in real life, she seeks bad boys, just like how you, Sue, seek men who can satisfy multiple women and stay focused on you.”

“What do you mean, they don’t really exist in real life?”, Annie added while Sue was lost in thoughts.

“Well, the concept comes from wolf packs, right? There was an Alpha male, an Alpha female and so on. Some people adapted this to humans. But later, we discovered not only that the concept was ridiculous for humans, but also for wolves!”

Sue asked: “What do you mean for wolves too? I learned that in school!”

“Yeap”, I replied. “And so did I. But the reality is that in nature, the Alpha couple are the parents, and that’s why they are dominant: the other wolves are their kids! And it’s not even a theory, it’s from the guy who initially coined the terms Alpha males in the wolves. He only realized later that in captivity, the wolves kind of select which wolves will form the parents to replicate nature..”

I think both of their jaws dropped.

“Then what would you call a man who likes you, kinds of leads the relationship if not an Alpha male?”, asked Sue. “When you suggested that what I liked was Alpha males, it made a lot of sense and it clicked in my mind, but you now reject the name!”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it ever since we had that conversation and I don’t have a good name for it either. Even if Alpha males don’t actually exist, we might decide to use the term between us, at least, unless we do get a better one.”

“Fine with me!”, said Sue with a smile. “Same here”, added Annie.

“Provided it makes me the Alpha female… That has a nice ring to it”, Sue completed, with a grin.

We talked some more about Gus. We ended up using a plan from all of the Alpha male talks.

The idea, in short, was to try to figure out from Nicole which aspects of Gus she associated with being an Alpha: perhaps his independence toward her (that one was from me), perhaps his flashy sense of style (from Annie) or his sexual abilities (from Sue, who hoped he was at least good in bed).

Then, both girls would emphasize how different I was, but subtly. For example, Annie would point out how well-dressed I am, and still had my own sense of style.

Sue would swap with Nicole salacious details of their sex lives while trying to contrast between them how short of a straw Nicole had really picked.

I would do, well, nothing more. I would just be nice to Nicole while being extra passionate with both Sue and Annie so that Nicole might feel jealous.

Both girls were amazed at my Saxophone solos, but apparently, it was Nicole who was the most impressed: she used to only date musicians but since most were not able to make money, she gave up on them.

“Good”, I said. Perhaps we did have a plan.

This reminded me of something my dad used to say. Women were on average, according to him, nicer than men. They tended to avoid confrontation, to seek consensus, and try to avoid conflict. They did like drama but that was something often inconsequential (I didn’t agree with that last part, but he was from the previous generation so perhaps things were different back then). However, when they get together to destroy a man, better pray it’s not you because then, they go all in!

It had always felt like “but” sexism. You know the type: I am not sexist BUT, women are less intelligent than men. I am not racist BUT, black people are more violent. See what I mean? They claim not to be a bigot and yet, right after that BUT, we usually get horrible bullshit, like my dad: “women are nicer than men BUT will destroy one when they work together“. It kinds of make me ashamed of him… and yet, was this not what we were scheming about? Destroying Gus?

I knew almost nothing about the man. Maybe he was about to dump Nicole but was otherwise a nice man. Maybe he was dealing with serious issues, maybe, hey, just maybe, with Nicole he is a very nice guy but he hates her best friends so he is miserable each time they see him?

Perhaps he is Nicole’s soulmate but she is afraid to admit it because her friends hate him? Maybe she just wants to avoid confronting Sue and Annie because he is a good boyfriend in private but not with friends?

I had all of these doubts but I doubted even more that I could turn around the speeding train that was Sue and Annie planning to get rid of Gus. Would I feel guilty in the long run? No. Would I feel it was unfair to Gus, maybe, but would I feel guilty about it? Not at all. He could have avoided all of this if he had followed the golden rule of dating a girl with friends: be liked by her friends!

 Meanwhile, I had made my own plans for the afternoon.

“Sue, would you mind helping me prepare lunch for my date with Annie?”

Sue jumped off the couch, positively happy.

“Is there anything I can do?”, asked Annie.

“Yes, you have to remain there on the couch, looking sexy”.

She blushed, and Sue and I walked hand in hand toward my kitchen.

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