- Sue Chapter 1: Meeting her
- Sue Chapter 2: The call
- Sue Chapter 3: The date
- Sue Chapter 4: The evening
- Sue Chapter 5: The plan
- Sue Chapter 6: Preparing for the party
- Sue Chapter 7: The shower
- Sue Chapter 8: Awaiting her friends
- Sue Chapter 9: Here comes the friends!
- Sue Chapter 10: Supper with friends
- Sue Chapter 11: After dessert
- Sue Chapter 12: After the party
- Sue Chapter 13: Storming in
- Sue Chapter 14: Sue Sleeping in
- Sue Chapter 15: Seeing Annie
- Sue Chapter 16: In Annie’s mind
- Sue Chapter 17: Alpha Male
- Sue Chapter 18: The odd date
- Sue Chapter 19: After care
- Sue Chapter 20: Questioning
- Sue Chapter 21: Scheming
- Sue Chapter 22: Dinner with Annie
- Sue Chapter 23: Bass Lessons
- Sue Chapter 24: Marinade
- Sue Chapter 25: Two girls, one rubber
- Sue Chapter 26: Temperature
- Sue Chapter 27: Incentives
- Sue Chapter 28: Sunday Evening
- Sue Chapter 29: Thinking at work
After I got Sue to scream my name a few times, we got dressed and reviewed the apartment.
To Sue’s disappointment, there was nothing left to do to prepare for the party, so I made a mental note to let a few things to clean up in the future, perhaps leaving some dirty dishes to wash (even if I am a dishwasher) or a few towels drying in the bathroom.
So instead, we talked.
This time, I didn’t have to only look interested, but also to be interesting. On our first date, I mostly listened, but if I wanted her to be able to talk to her friends about me, I needed to give her some details on my life.
This is where it is tricky. Can’t talk about my past girlfriends. Don’t want to talk about my friends (we are meeting her friends, not mine tonight), Can’t talk about politics, religion or philosophy, so that pretty much just leaves hobbies and work.
Sadly, I didn’t know much about her hobbies and I was too far along in the relationship to present the hobbies I only do to sound interesting, like playing racquetball twice per year (yet I prefer to ride my bicycle, something that scares some girls) or going to museums (while I prefer to read, something that cannot be easily shared), but not far enough to be totally honest.
So that left work, and the delicate game of pin the tail.
Let me explain…
Girls really like it when they have something in common with their boyfriend plus, it makes it much easier for her to think about you during the day.
So, I ask her about her work and try to finds aspects of my work which look like her’s.
The danger, however, is to compare the difficult aspects of her work with something you also find difficult but for which she doesn’t see the complexity. You then sound like you are under-evaluating her work and minimizing her efforts, sounding patronizing.
You can do the opposite too, and make her feel useless if, at some point, you make her feel like your job is a lot more complicated than hers.
So, I have a trick: I keep my actual comments on our jobs for the end. She talks about the difficulties of her job, so I talk about the difficulties of mine without falling into any comparisons. She talks about the fun perks of her job, so I mention a few of mine while making it sound like her’s are more exciting.
For example, as a Marketing agent, she gets to use her imagination to build campaigns and try to see her client’s products in a new light. As an accountant for a big firm, I sit with my clients, the other departments to help them maximize their budgets to plan their projects.
She hates it when her clients are undecided on her proposals, and I hate it when my clients (the department heads), are disorganized and can’t produce the invoices I need to help them.
I do not make a direct comment that it is the same, I just highlight an aspect of my work which she might or might not connect emotionally with.
In the end, I just declared: “In short, it all comes down to helping people make more money, you by getting them to sell more, and me by getting them to better manage what they have. But the key is the human aspect”
She hugged me, declaring that I had pretty much summed it up perfectly and admitted that underneath, we almost did the same job: taking care of people.
Do you know what my secret is? It always comes down to people and money!
Oh, you work the cash register? So you work with people and money!
Are you a software developer? You need to understand the people to make your company money! Same with me!
Our society (the people) is capitalist (the money), so when it comes to work, it all boils down to that.
Ok, I can’t mention it for social workers, but I have alternate ideas for those cases…
The intercom interrupted our talk: her first friend was arriving, a few minutes early.Tags: re-edit