Alex Chapter 11: Believers and adepts

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This entry is part 11 of 7 in the series Alex

I was soon left alone to pray in front of my painting.

I did look happy, and yet, I didn’t remember painting this one. I mean, I do, but I don’t. It’s hard to explain. I know I painted it and can see me paint part of it, but I don’t recall the sketching, the discussions with my boyfriend about the commission, even if it was even commissioned, and I didn’t remember mixing the colors and such.

I was starting to realize that my life was pretty much a lie: I was blocking whole memories from my past to avoid facing them. I was repressing events which obviously made me happy, but which went counter to my education.

It made me question who I was.

So I prayed to the Goddess, for what felt like hours, until I heard the bell announcing that lunch was ready.

Then, just as I woke up, the painting came alive. Well, not really: the image stayed the same, but I could see on the other side of it. I could see myself, having an orgy with plenty of my boyfriend’s friends, and I could remember welcoming them one by one as they came to our apartment, checking them out, anxious to have sex with them all at once.

I remember being nude for the whole evening, since prior to the arrival of the first guy, to the departure of the last one.

I remember some of their names, but I also remember being excited that I didn’t know all of them.

I also remembered that this wasn’t an isolated party. I remember waiting patiently and often impatiently, for the next one.

I remembered pleading with my boyfriend to organize more of them, and sending him to sleep on the coach to force his hand.

I could see myself, having all 3 of my holes filled while I was jacking up two other guys with my hands under the watchful eye of my boyfriend.

I remembered sucking an unknown cock at a rave, on the other side of a glory hole.

I remembered my boyfriend and I having sex in a park and inviting voyeurs to take me once he was done, provided they put a condom on. I distinctly knew that we had brought them.

Holy shit, I thought, as I was walking toward the cafeteria, I am indeed a slut, and I loved it.

I have come late, so the tables were mostly filled with a lot of people. Men, nude women, they all intermingled and talked to one another.

I noticed the delivery man in the corner thanks to his waving hand and went to sit with him, two men and another woman.

“Hey, thanks for sitting with us! Guys, this is Alex, she painted out various paintings and is making new ones!”

“Awesome”, said the girl. “I am Georgia. I am very happy to meet you”.

I noticed the men didn’t present themselves, but they still shook my hand.

I ate with them but noticed that we didn’t really talk, in fact, the noise level was very low as no one was really talking.

We were eating near each other, but not really with each other.

Guys began to leave, but even if Georgia was done eating, she stayed at her place so I did the same.

Once our table was empty and no men were close, she spoke to me.

“So, how are you adjusting? My first night, I was terrified, excited, but terrified”

“I guess I am fine. Yesterday, I was terrified too, but I think I am looking forward to tonight”

“Good.”, she replied. “That’s why I joined the covenant.”

“The nights?”

“No, my terror. I was always insecure, about my looks, about my weight, about my hair, about my accent, about having a relationship, about possibly being a mother. I missed about a fifth of my school days because I couldn’t bear getting out of bed, and ended up not getting a diploma.”

“So how did you hear about this place?”

“Ah, well, I come from a few streets away. This place always had the town whispering about us so I had heard stories. I just went on my bicycle one day and saw the men working in the fields. I had a long talk, and then, an even longer talk with some of the women.”

“They let you inside without joining?”


“Not me! Once inside, I couldn’t back out”

“Oh, yeah, it depends on how you approach us. I said I was considering joining but wanted to know more. I think you said you were already a believer. Believers can’t leave, but adepts, like me, can decide to leave”

“What? You can?”, I said, outraged.

“Yeah, the girls are divided into 2 groups: the believers and the adepts. Some of the girls are here just because they want to be here, like me. I am here to confront my fears. While inside, I still have to follow all of the rules, but I could ask permission to quit, and once given, I could quit with the understanding that the only way to come back would be to be back as a believer, and believers can never leave”

“Ah, so you can only leave once. What if I realize I am not longer a believer one day?”

“I don’t think that’s possible…”

Oh, so if I had just said I wanted to come with them, I could have left once safe, but I was now a prisoner here. Wonderful!

“But don’t despair, I don’t actually plan on leaving. It’s amazing to be a woman here! We are actually in the garden of Eden. Every year, we have a ceremony to pledge that you are a believer and I am thinking of doing it. Of promising my eternal life to the covenant.”

Weird. I guess to each her own!

“Hey, is Talia a believer?”

“No, I don’t think so. You know her?”

“I heard about her, is she here?”

“Yeah, just there…”, she said, pointing to a tall redhead with freckles.

“I think I’ll go talk to her, thank you for the talk! I really enjoyed it”, I told her.

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