The Circle Chapter 2: First Revelation

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This entry is part 2 of 9 in the series The Circle

To say that my wife was stunned by the video would be an understatement.

Shock over the death of our son, horror that it was a suicide. Shame that she never realized how broken her family was. Despair over the loss of her job, of her house, of her body identity, of her well, almost everything but her husband, he only source of comfort.

After a lot of reassuring that notably, apart from our son, she had approved and looked forward to all of those changes. That she helped our daughter and her boyfriend find a decent apartment, that she was the one who picked our condo. That she personally chose our new bed and the paint on the walls of our bedroom.

But as I was reassuring her, a fight ready to explode was slowly starting to boil under her skin. The pressure was mounting up, and I could sense it preparing to explode.

When she learned she had gone no-contact with both her mother and her sister, the fight left her tiny body and sent emotional shrapnel all over me.

I’ll spare you the fight, but in short, she couldn’t believe that her changes of personality were genuine and instead, blamed it on the meds.

Never would she abandon her mother. Never would she let her sick sister into her dependency without trying to help her. Never would she spend hours per day to lose weight when she already considered herself in a healthy zone.

Never, was I hearing her well? Never, ever, not in a million years. That woman from a few years ago, well, even just a few days ago was not her. It was an artificial person caused by the pills.

The fight calmed down quickly, however, as she didn’t have the energy or enough arguments to fuel the fight past the initial shock.

I did the best that I could: I listened, I nodded, I acknowledged her emotions and I stayed patient, knowing that when you are yelling at someone, it’s often hard to keep yelling when the other person isn’t yelling back at you.

Eventually, she turned silent and wept a few tears. I held her naked body against mine, putting her head on my shoulders.

“Four years.”, she said, between sobs. “I lost four years. And my son. Our son. ”

I waited to make sure she was done, and I just added: “But in the process, you’ve found yourself. Your true self. I am sure of that honey. The medication just removed all of your fears and helped you step into your life. Into your real life. I’ve seen you before, and I have seen you since and honey, the new you was indeed happy. Blissful. Calm. You would smile like you never smiled. Do things you always hesitated to do. You lived, and in a little while, you will live again.”

The tears stopped, and we stayed silent for the longest of time. Trees grew, laid seeds, died and new trees took their place. Civilizations collapsed, and stars imploded. I wouldn’t have moved, spoken or even twitched even if my life was in peril.

“Are you sure?”, she asked.

“Honey, you’ve told me things in the last few years that I always suspected, but which you had never had the courage to say. You’ve been open like you had never been before. You expressed fantasies you admitted you had kept privately in your heart since you were a little girl, and you’ve shown me parts of your teenage diary talking about them. I didn’t even know you had kept it until you showed it to me 3 years ago, trying to convince me that this new you, was the real you. If you need to, I’ll make you go thru the same process you walked me thru then, but eventually, I am sure, you’ll find yourself again.”

I looked, and she was blushing.

“What’s wrong?”, I asked her.

“So it’s not a mistake that I slept naked, right?”

“No honey, it’s not.”

She burrowed her face in both of her hands, shaking her head in disbelief. I held her close. Eons passed again.

“How often?”, she asked.

“Pretty much all day, most of the days. Of course, you don’t always feel good enough, and there is one week of the month where it’s more delicate, but otherwise, it’s usually the case.”

“So I almost never wear clothes anymore? Wow. And I like it?”

“You love it, especially since you began to lose weight. You just love when I am well-dressed in your naked company. And you’ve helped me to reinvent my wardrobe so that I am indeed a lot better dressed. Of course, when I am at work and you are working from home, you usually get dressed because I am not there, but from what you’ve told me, not always and less and less often.”

“I feel so much like a fool. I must be crazy…”

“There are a lot more women like you than you thought. And I don’t mean nudists. Nudism is quite different since it implies everyone is naked. Plus, the mood is quite different at a nudist place. No, I am specifically talking about women who enjoy being naked in the company of clothed men. ”

She turned in bed in my direction, looking puzzled.

“What do you mean, how do we know that?”

“Well, we’ve attended quite a few nudist activities and came to the conclusion that it definitely wasn’t for us. It’s not just that I have to be naked too, but they don’t look at each other. It’s as if they sanitized all sexuality. They…”

She put her hand on my arm. “No, not that. My neighbors were nudists. Of course, my parents didn’t know, but I talked often about it with their daughter, my old friend Julie. I even spent company with them in the nude at their house. What I mean is, how do you know they are women who specifically enjoy the company of clothed men?”

“Oh, sorry. Yeah, it makes more sense. We talked about Julie a few times over the last few years. I know because we’ve started a group called The Circle. We met every other Friday evening. There are usually from 5 to 8 women attending, and not always the same ones, plus their boyfriends of course and a few other guys we accepted.”

She hid her face again in her hands.

“I can’t believe I’ve done that. Oh boy, what other crazy things have I done?”

I smiled.

“All in good time. Take your time honey. I’ll go finish preparing breakfast. Come join me when you want. Put clothes on if you want, or not. Your choice. It’s always your decision. It’s your fantasy, you can stop whenever you want.”

Nervous, she asked:

“But you are happy with it, right?”, all hesitant.

“Are you kidding me? I’ve never been happier! I get to see your wonderful naked body all of the time!”

“And I am really happy with this choice, for real?”

“Yes, honestly, you are. I even have a video of you admitting it. Let me find it for you…”

I picked up the tablet, but she grabbed my hand and instead, held me close. It’s perhaps easier to hear it from me than from herself.

I felt her shoulders drop from relief, I saw all of her tension leave her tiny body. And when we pulled back from our hub, I saw something I hadn’t seen yet today: a smile.

I kissed her and left the bed, but she stopped me.

“I am ready for that video you know…”

I chuckled, and selected the proper video, leaving her with it while I went downstairs to prepare breakfast.

Fortunately, I had already seen it, so I can tell you exactly what my wife heard from herself.

“Hi Stephanie, if you are seeing this video, it’s because you expressed surprise that your participated in a CMNF activity with other people, and are possibly confused as to how to got the nerve to do it. You have to understand something crucial: most women get their security from outside of them. It so happens that both men and women are usually scared for their security, and as such, they impose limits on their lives to reassure themselves. In most cases, when they see someone who doesn’t share the same limits, it causes insecurity in them. If you restrict public display of affection, for example, seeing a couple kissing causes you problems, but if such display is fine with you, you won’t mind seeing other peoples’ displays of affection. So we come to our nudity. By being naked in the company of our wonderful husband, we increase our tolerance for insecurity within the couple. By participating in CMNF events, we increase that tolerance to even other people so that instead of being scared of others and finding security with them, we learn to find that security within ourselves.  We gain more self-reliance, more courage, and more confidence.”

Sadly, I didn’t know live how my wife reacted, but when I saw her come downstairs naked to join me for breakfast, I knew she took it well.

Series Navigation«The Circle Chapter 1: Stephanie Waking upThe Circle Chapter 3: Sex life»
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